The sales pitch: You’ll decide within 30 seconds if you actually want to buy the thing. Then you’ll listen to the salesperson tell you why you should buy it for the next half-hour. Expect a scripted, Tony Robbins-esque performance filled to the brim with buzzwords.
Interviews: Good cop bad cop? Panel? Group interview (please no)? Pick your poison.
Performance Review: You’ve quantified everything you’ve accomplished for the company over the past year. You’ve prepared your deck. You’ve rehearsed it twice. It’s just you & the boss. Game on.
Over-prepared: That big project you were assigned last week is finally done, you’re riding high, and your boss wants to table it for another time in favor of a new topic. Your soul is crushed.
One on one: You’ll make polite small-talk over how your weekends were, how the family is, and then you’ll jump right in. These can be delightfully intimidating, but you’ll also leave with solid action items to tackle.
Mystery: The kind of meeting that just appears on the calendar with a vague title and no description. Your guess is as good as mine.
Could’ve been an email: A meeting that, quite simply, should have been an email. You wasted my time once again, Derek. You should have been an intern.
Team building: Bring your pep. This is the bane of your existence, introverts.
All hands: Once a week with the whole team. It’s down at the Moontower. Full kegs, everybody’s gonna be there--you oughta go.
No-show : Getting ghosted sucks. Getting stood up on a date is worse. Getting no-showed at a meeting? Priceless.
Friday @ 5: Just….no.